And just like that, spring break is over, again.
I spent half my spring break away from home, away from my family. I spent the rest with friends… eating, getting fat, the usual.
I can’t believe the school year has gone by so fast and there’s only 2 months left. Hopefully I’ll work my ass of for the final leg of this year and try not to fail biology and maintain my A in history. And hopefully these are not very demanding goals.

You all misunderstand, thinking you know me but you don’t; it’s ok though because if you really have no life that you have to spread rumors and make assumptions, then I feel rather sorry for you.

I can’t decide how to feel when I know that there are people out there who are more invested in my life and my relationship than me. Should I be flattered, creeped out, or annoyed?
People have their own lives to run why do they need to keep track of mine.

I miss you more than you will ever know, if you only knew. 

I envy people with big families and a relationship with their grandparents. I wish I met all my grandparents, I wish they were still alive. I wish that one day, I’ll run into the grandpa whom I haven’t seen in 14 years; my last living grandparent; and when I do, I hope he’ll recognize me and apologize for leaving. I envy people with such amazing relationships with their cousins. The last time I had a legitimate conversation with mine…was in my mind. I wish I had a bigger family to make me feel less lonely. 

The thing I hate the most about crying is that the next day it haunts me. Swelled up eyes causes questions that I would rather not answer.

We want things we don’t need, waste what we don’t want, we whine about how our lives suck, but when we think about it, does it really? If we compare our lives to a sex slave in Thailand or a child slave in Africa, do we really have it worse?
We never realize how lucky we really are, because if we did, would half our problems even be considered a problem?

You being irritated with your life has nothing to do with mine, stop trying to bring me down with you.

No one wants to be around someone who is constantly negative, constantly bringing them down.

Eating healthy and exercising feels so refreshing, so pure; as if all the toxins in my body have flushed away, along with my problems.

I wonder how you’re doing. I wonder if you’re still the same person I knew, if I still remember what that was like. I wonder if you ever miss talking to me. I wonder if one day that strong, rigid wall that we built against each other would get knocked down so things could restore to its original state. I wonder if you ever ask yourself these questions as well. I wonder if you still care.

Because I do.

Sometimes I question if you’re just too selfish to let me be happy for myself.